Is the year ahead looking much the same as the last? Another 365-day grind of meetings, dinner dates, papers, not-to-forget birthdays?
If so, try this tumblr on for size. Part instruction manual, part therapy, part religious cult, part sheer anarchy, This Tumblr Will Change Your Life will help you poke a stick in the spokes of your routine and make every day of the next year the first day of your new life.
-Walk under a ladder -Whistle inside the house -Break a mirror -Cross paths with a black cat -Let milk boil over -Step on a crack on the sidewalk -Put keys on the table -Open your umbrella inside -Walk under a ladder -Spill salt and don’t throw some over your shoulder
Day 43: This evening, write a proper diary account of your day
If Winston Churchill found time to write in his diary when he was busy fighting World War II, so can you. Here is a typical entry:
6/06/44 Woke up 8-ish, slept fairly well though had a strange dream featuring an elephant and a mongoose, perhaps attributable to that third bottle of claret. I really could not find the energy to rouse myself but Clemmie insisted that I should go and fight the war. Bless her. Arrived at the War Office at midday to find Monty in a mess over D-Day. As far as I can tell, everything seems to be going to plan. Am not really that interested since they forbade me to join in. Anyhow, other than that, not much of a day. Scrambled eggs for dinner. Bed now.
Grass was well-known amongst Indian shamans for its soothing and anti-ulcerative properties. When a papoose was sickly, the shaman would lay him down on a grass bank and sprinkle him with dew from the bark of a Great Conifer Tree, for 5 days and 5 nights (at least). Today grass is widely available of course in parks, gardens and the like. The current theory is that the leaves contain herbacinium, a derivative of morphine, which rubs off on the fibrous nerves of our bare feet, gets into the bloodstream and slows down our heart rate by up to 14%, thus relaxing us. Today, give it a try.
Don’t remain plain old Mr. or Mrs. J Schmoe all your life. To become a Knight or Dame, simply write to the British Prime Minister c/o the Prime Minister’s Office, 10 Downing St, London SW1A A22, United Kingdom. Explain what exceptional achievement or service you feel merits the award of a knighthood.
Previous successful applicants have used the following, just to give you an idea: -Been head nurse for 60 years -Nobel Peace Prize winner -Raised millions for obscure charity -Served in minor government position for whole life -Won World War 2 -Saved a cat from an extra tall tree -Save Toby from the Goblin King
Kudos if you can get the President to recommend you. The honors ceremony takes place on the Queen’s birthday, so make sure you keep it free! US citizens please note: Non-subjects may not style themselves Sir or Dame, though they may place the appropriate letters after their name.
Runner Etiquette: 1) Wait until the coffee course, particularly if there is a set menu 2) Do not leave your date behind, unless you are sure it’s the last time you wish to see them 3) Do not actually start *running* until you are outside the restaurant 4) Do not select the heaviest items on the menu. Running on a bouillabaisse is medically unadvised 5) Beginners and the shy: Do a practice runner before ordering any food